R is, firstly and most obviously, an addict. Psychologically, it may be observed that he possesses an addictive personality - displaying such signs as impulsivity, depression, insecurity, cognitive distortion, maladaptive attitudes, a sense of social alienation, aggressive nonconformity, devaluation of commitment to social values, etc., etc. The list goes on. The result of this particular collection of traits is an extremely lonely extravert who is determined that he is worthless and existence and therefore action is meaningless. He is a Nihilist who is as easily addicted to substances as to people, throwing himself into both with a self-contradictory fervor, living each moment as his last, taking what he can when he can because he would receive nothing otherwise, as he fails to believe that he deserves even the basic necessities of survival. In his outward interactions, he is enthusiastic, talkative, assertive, and gregarious, energized and contented only whilst in the presence of others and often using the haze of alcohol to temper his own fears. Drinking dulls the depression, anxiety, and otherwise overpowering emotions, though it does nothing to help his more severe areas of mental illness.
The addictive behaviors are, as studies of his many issues have shown, a problem that likely stems from a combination of genetic predisposition and his being highly experienced in the sphere of "childhood trauma." Coming out of an abusive family situation, from which he was unable to escape for an unfortunately lengthy period of time, he is the product of his parents' mostly unperceived failures as well as his own imagined ones. He craves positive attention but believes himself only deserving of, and therefore generally courts, the negative in arenas where he finds it most affective. To a sensation junkie with no sense of self-worth, anything is better than nothing, which alternately results in R's initial goals for affection being dismissive amusement or displays of aggression, treading a very thin line. In short, he is uncertain of any affection that indicates himself being taken seriously unless the seriousness is treading the thin line between antagonism and abuse.
Depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive behaviors.
Acceptance of affection and emotional disconnect.
I feel like I'm forgetting something. |
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
